


Grounded For Life

by canthelpmyselves



Category: The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Barry is not allowed to drink anymore., Multi, Or visit other Earths., Polygamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:33:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22579399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: Barry Allen. Fastest man alive. Hero of Central City. Serial polygamist? Oliver doesn't find that last one nearly as funny as everyone else does.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Arthur Curry, Barry Allen/Bruce Wayne, Barry Allen/Danica Williams, Barry Allen/Hal Jordan, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Barry Allen/Lothario Wells, Barry Allen/Mick Rory, Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Comments: 41
Kudos: 228





	Grounded For Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady_Lightning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lightning/gifts).



> For Lady_Lightning because I promised to make it up to her for all the recent angst.

“How does this keep happening to you?!!!”

Oliver spun and glared at the brunette beside him. “KEEP happening?” he growled. “What does Cisco mean by ‘keep happening’?”

Barry blushed bright red and scratched at the back of his neck. “Um, so I might have gotten drunk-married before?” he said, sounding as if he was asking a question rather than making a statement.

Oliver’s eyes narrowed and he stepped a bit closer. “Who?” he demanded.

“Whos.” Iris piped up with a wicked grin.

“Iris!” Barry hissed.

“Whos?” the archer repeated. His jaw dropped in surprise. “Wait! You’ve gotten married more than once?”

Barry hunched a bit before exhaling heavily. “Six,” he mumbled.

Oliver blinked several times. His mouth opened and closed three times before he found his voice. “What?”

“Earth 17 makes alcohol strong enough for a speedster,” Caitlin said helpfully. “Barry married that world’s Mick Rory after a night of bar-crawling.”

“Earth 43 is like super religious, culturally. When Barry drank some ceremonial wine and danced with their Batman he accidentally ended up married to him,” Iris cackled.

“He drunk-married Earth 33’s Flash, a woman named Danica, when they were celebrating after defeating that world’s Zoom,” Cisco snickered.

“On Earth 3 he ended up married to the king of Atlantis after Arthur got him smashed on merman hooch,” Eddie added, grinning.

“Following an orgy and several cases of Kryptonian whiskey, he married Earth 47’s Lothario Wells,” Iris pointed out.

“And let’s never forget the time Barry drank three flasks of Caitlin’s 500 proof alcohol and decided he needed to see if our world’s Leonard Snart had quote, ‘as fine an ass naked as he did in a kilt’, unquote,” Cisco shuddered. “That’s the night we realized we needed a comm system that could be turned off remotely. I still have nightmares about those vows.”

Oliver crossed his arms over his chest and fixed his coldest glare on the speedster. “You married Leonard Snart, Mick Rory, Harrison Wells, Batman, a merman and another Flash?”

“Um, yes?” Barry answered awkwardly.

Oliver sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “How could you get married and divorced six times and I didn’t know it?”

When no one answered for a full minute, Oliver looked up and his eyes went wide. “Barry? You are divorced? Right?”

“Ummm…”

“You can’t be married to me _and_ six different people!” Oliver barked. “You can’t be married to your nemesis!”

“Technically, I’m only married to one person, on six different worlds,” Barry pointed out.

“Actually, you’re married to two on this one,” Iris corrected, pointing to the new, shiny rings on his and Oliver’s fingers.

“Well, legally he was a widower on this Earth,” Cisco said, still grinning.

“You know, none of you are helping,” Barry grumbled to his team.

Oliver dragged both hands down his face. “I’m married to a polygamist.”

Barry reached out and patted Oliver’s shoulder. “Let’s go see Laurel. I’m sure she can help us get this annulled.”

Oliver grimaced but accompanied Barry out of the cortex. “You realize that you’re banned from alcohol, right? I mean it, Barry. You are never drinking again.”

Barry rolled his eyes as they stepped outside. “Why are you complaining? If anyone should be upset, it’s me. I didn’t get laid this time.”

“Barry!” Oliver growled, trying to ignore the surge of heat to his cheeks.

Barry grinned slyly. “I vibrate, you know.”

Oliver choked on air as Barry wrapped his arms around him in preparation of speeding them away. “What?!”

Barry’s grin turned wicked. “No refractory period, either.”

Oliver stared at him for a long moment, shock and lust rocketing through him. He gripped Barry’s wrists tight and cleared his throat. “Maybe… maybe we don’t have to get this annulled immediately,” he suggested hesitantly.

“My place?” Barry asked huskily.

“Your place,” Oliver agreed.

***

“So, you’re number 7?”

Oliver nodded as he sipped his whiskey. “Yes. You are?”

“Arthur Curry, number 4,” the muscular man said, holding out a hand.

“Oliver Queen.”

“Have you met the others?” Arthur asked.

Oliver shook his head. “I know who Rory is but I haven’t met Danica or Batman, yet.”

“I’ll introduce you,” he offered. “Hey, Bruce!”

A tall, dark haired man in an expensive suit made his way toward them. “Bruce, this is 7, Oliver Queen. Oliver, this is 3, Bruce Wayne.”

Wayne grimaced but shook Oliver’s hand. “You know I dislike the number system, Curry.”

Arthur chuckled and took a swig of beer from the stein in his hand. “We could always list ourselves alphabetically,” he suggested.

Oliver watched curiously as Wayne glared at the other man, who seemed completely unperturbed by it. While Wayne was obviously wealthy, Curry looked more like an 80’s biker than a king (or merman). Danica, who looked like a librarian contrasted sharply with Mick Rory who, in any world apparently, looked like a mob enforcer and Wells who was a bit of a slut in a Hugh Hefner robe and not much else. Oliver knew he exuded a more stern, soldier-esque persona while Leonard Snart had been a drama queen of the highest order.

“Does Barry even have a type?” he wondered aloud.

“Stubborn,” Arthur answered immediately.

“Commanding,” Wayne corrected.

Thinking about it, Oliver had to nod. “Barry does seem to gravitate toward authority figures.”

“Daddy issues,” Arthur pointed out knowingly.

“Then how do you explain Danica?” Bruce asked.

“She vibrates, too,” Arthur said with a wink.

Bruce appeared to think about that for a moment before nodding. “That is hard to resist,” he admitted.

“So, where is Barry anyway?” Wells asked as he, Danica and Rory joined them. “He called us here but I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Earth 31,” Arthur explained. “Apparently, that world has some sort of superhero league and he was invited to the grand opening of their clubhouse or something.”

“Barry is on another Earth? At a party? Unsupervised?” Oliver asked warily.

Just then, a portal opened up in the middle of the room. Oliver and company watched as Barry stepped into the room, followed closely by a brunette in a green spandex suit and mask. When the portal closed the speedster ran around the room and pressed a kiss to each spouse’s lips.

“Hey, everyone,” he greeted, stooping beside the new guy. “I’d like you all to meet Hal Jordan.”

The guy grinned smugly and waved. “Hal Jordan-Allen,” he corrected. 

Oliver huffed and gave Barry his sternest glare. “You’re grounded.”


End file.
